ReMarks

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2011-03-05T05:49:00.000-08:00

Doesn't seem like anybody reads this, so I don't know if it's worth updating...

Comments? Anybody out there?

The Pendulum Swings Again

2010-11-03T00:27:00.000-07:00

The Republicans will be crowing about regaining control of the House. But don't forget that when a Republican president is in office, the Democrats usually rally in the mid-term congressional elections. It works both ways. And the pendulum swings again. Politics is like the description of life from Shakespeare's Macbeth: "A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, and signifying nothing."

Trying To Find Myself

2010-06-23T17:37:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to find myself.
Has anybody seen me lately?
I know I'm around here somewhere.
Where am I now that I need me?

Freaks In Love

2010-04-30T01:54:00.000-07:00

I just discovered this song by Elton John (lyrics by Bernie Taupin) from the album Peachtree Road. I told Melodie it's our new theme song. (See him perform it live here.)

Me and you we're not that pretty
Me and you could use a lift
I'm out here on the corner crying
I got ribbons but I got no gift

Me and you we're all we've got
Me and you could be our curse
We've got bleeding hearts and flowers
You got strings but you got no purse

We're just freaks in love
Saints above
Shine on our sweet life
Happy is the union
Of fools and freaks alike

And fearless are the idiots
Among the hawks and doves
We're on the outside looking in
A couple of freaks in love

There's a wonder in this weakness
It's so beautiful sometimes
Across the universe we're lightning
In the race we're a step behind

Me and you we're not for everyone
Me and you we're damaged goods
We're antique and unacceptable
And just misunderstood

We're just freaks in love
Saints above
Shine on our sweet life
Happy is the union
Of fools and freaks alike

And fearless are the idiots
Among the hawks and doves
We're on the outside looking in
A couple of freaks in love

Movin' On Up!

2010-02-22T20:08:00.000-08:00

We've been living in this apartment for almost two years. It's been too small - a one-bedroom when we'd had a two-bedroom before, and still had two-bedrooms worth of stuff. Some of it we hadn't even had room to unpack since we've been here. And there's barely room for us to move around, let alone an energetic cat.

Then came the bugs. Bedbugs. Apparently they've become widespread in this part of the country recently. We tried a spray but it didn't help. The apartment management called in an exterminator who told us that when they spray the place, the bugs tend to hide anywhere they can, including things like books. We would need to remove and/or bag up all books, papers, boxes, and anything like that they could hide in. Problem was, we had piles of boxes and no place to put them.

Our lease had run out and we went to the office to sign the new one, and it turned out they had a two-bedroom apartment available for only a little more than we are paying now. We went over and looked at it and it has much more storage space as well, and more cupboards in the kitchen. So we signed the new lease and will be moving this week.

We can get all of the stuff that the bedbugs could hide in out before they treat the bed and the room, and then we can move that. So the problems with space, the cat, and the bugs (as well as noisy neighbors) were all solved at once. Praise God!

What's Wrong With Politics

2010-02-08T09:52:00.000-08:00

The following is an excerpt from a conversation that Craig Ferguson had with journalist Carl Bernstein on The Late Late Show. I think it beautifully sums up what's wrong with politics today.

CRAIG: I have this idea that it used to be you were allowed to disagree with people. And you would disagree with them - I disagree with you, you disagree with me, we argue about it, everybody raise their hand, who gets the majority, that's what it is, we move on. Now, if I disagree with you or you disagree with me, I say, "You're stupid. You're stupid for disagreeing with me..."

CARL: Worse. That's mild for what's being said right now.

CRAIG: It's like, "You're a stupid traitor, because you disagree with me."

CARL: There is an ugliness in our politics, again, that has increased over the last forty years, that has resulted in a kind of ideological gridlock, in which one side doesn't recognize the legitimacy of the other's arguments, or doesn't really listen to them. And again, the national interest is the last interest that gets served. So we're in a period where there's got to be some reform. The question is whether or not a president of the United States can go to the country and say, "Look at this institution, look how it's performing, the Congress of the United States." It's not an accident that Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, John McCain all wanted to get the hell out of that place and run for president.

...

CRAIG: I really think that you're right. There's an insult impetus involved in this. Everybody's trying to make everybody else look like a fool just because they have opposing opinions.

CARL: I think it's more than making the other side look foolish. I think it has to do with contempt - contempt for the other side's ideas, contempt for the legitimacy of the other side.

CRAIG: I take it further than that. I think it's contempt for the people of the United States and their wishes. What happens is that the wishes of the politicians are put ahead... the ambitions of the politicians are put ahead - not in every case but in many cases - are put ahead of the constituents of the politicians who elected them in the first place.

The entire conversation can be seen on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiebKJhpPZ0

Remember when you could talk openly about Jesus in a Christmas special?

2009-12-25T01:41:00.000-08:00

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” (Luke 2:8-14)

Still the best Christmas special ever!

Something to Think About

2009-12-22T11:28:00.000-08:00

A Quick Plug

2009-12-18T01:24:00.000-08:00

So many Christians are convinced that Christmas derived from a pagan festival and has nothing to do with Christ's birth. But I've found out in recent years that while the date of his birth was not known, there is more evidence that Dec. 25 was chosen as the date, not as a compromise with pagan festivals, but to offer an alternative. Check out the article on my web site: Is Christmas Pagan?

Assorted Ramblings

2009-12-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

OK, so what have I been up to? Not a whole lot. Time is a blur and half the time I don't know where it's gone.

Been listening to a lot of different music lately. The remastered Beatles albums are amazing. It's like they're right there in the room with you.

Also been listening to a lot of music I used to think was "wicked" or at least "rebellious" in my younger days and so didn't listen to it. Things like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Grand Funk Railroad, Santana, Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Cream, etc. I missed so much because of my uptight desire to "be good."

I've also been getting reacquainted with Elton John's music. For years I couldn't listen to it because it reminded me of my old girlfriend, and it made me depressed for various other reasons too. I find that I'm able to listen to it again without that happening. It's like being reunited with an old friend.

Speaking of old friends, I've also been listening to a lot of jazz, and just today I was listening to Airto Moreira's album, Fingers. An old friend named Jan turned me on to him years ago, and I remember trying to learn to play a song from that album on the guitar when I visited her in Rapid City, SD. Haven't heard from Jan in years, sadly.

I remember I wanted to be more than friends with her at first but she wasn't interested in me that way. Still, we could talk to each other about anything, and she was my best friend. After a while I figured out that I mainly wanted to be more than friends because I got along better with her than I ever had with any of my "girlfriends." I also figured out we were better off as friends because we were so much alike that if we'd been "romantic" we'd have driven each other crazy! I think I found her address on line a couple of years ago and wrote to her but never heard anything back.

I lost touch with most of my old friends from The Way, which is a drag because pretty much everyone I was friends with for most of my adult life I knew from The Way. So most of my life is limited to memories now because of that. The one exception is Melodie, whom I am amazed is still with me. She has remained at my side through everything, no matter how difficult I may have been. I don't know what's wrong with her! WHAT WAS SHE THINKING???

Oh well... Life goes on (Ob-la-di, ob-la-da!)

Hate Crimes Bill

2009-10-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

Why are so many "religious" people upset about the hate crimes bill? Do they really think it's "free speech" to be allowed to assault someone based on their gender or sexual orientation?

More likely, it's just out of ignorance of the facts. One article that was linked from FaceBook began by saying, "A 'hate crimes' bill opponents claim will be used to crack down on Christian speech, even the reading of the Bible, was signed into law today by President Obama." (WorldNetDaily)

But the article's only basis for this statement was what "opponents claim" would happen. A little research would show that it is not the case. In actuality, the bill has nothing to do with speech, but is directed against ACTS OF VIOLENCE. The following is from CNN:

Several religious groups have expressed concern that a hate-crimes law could be used to criminalize conservative speech relating to subjects such as abortion or homosexuality.

But Attorney General Eric Holder has said that any federal hate-crimes law would be used only to prosecute violent acts based on bias, as opposed to the prosecution of speech based on controversial racial or religious beliefs.

Another argument that keeps getting made is that the victims of hate crimes would be getting "special treatment" and that we already have laws on the books about violent assaults.

I used to buy into the argument that said, "All crimes are hate crimes; nobody that commits a crime is walking in love." But the fact is, while most crimes are motivated by greed or jealousy, not all of them are specifically motivated by hate for a particular group of people. That is what defines a hate crime.

And yes, we do have laws in place, even about hate crimes. The new bill simply expands the 1969 federal hate-crimes law to add sexual orientation and a few other things to the definition. Again, it is not in any way inhibiting free speech.

The hate-crimes amendment expands the 1969 federal hate-crimes law to include sexual orientation, gender identity, gender and mental or physical disability; provide funding to local and state agencies to investigate hate crimes; remove the current stipulation that offenses must be committed while a victim is engaging in a federally protected activity; and provide the Justice Department greater jurisdiction to investigate and prosecute hate crimes. (Philadelphia Gay News)

The House voted Thursday to expand the definition of violent federal hate crimes to cover those committed because of a victim’s gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability...

The hate crimes legislation allocates $5 million per year to the Justice Department to provide assistance to local communities in investigating such crimes, a process that can sometimes strain local police resources. It allows the Justice Department to assist in the inquiry and prosecution of such crimes if requested by local authorities.

"The problem of crimes motivated by bias is sufficiently serious, widespread and interstate in nature as to warrant federal assistance to states, local jurisdictions, and Indian tribes," the measure says. (The Caucus, the Politics and Government Blog of the NY Times)

Normally I don't get involved with political issues, but when people who claim to be Christians go out of their way to protest things like this, I want to respond by saying, "Get the facts straight." Don't go for the knee-jerk reaction of some conservatives in the media. The quotes above were found by simply googling "hate crimes bill." It's not difficult, and it prevents Christians from looking foolish and giving more fuel to those who believe that all Christians are ignorant and bigoted.

Where Am I Now That I Need Me?

2009-10-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

Looking over my blog entries I realize it's been almost two months since I posted one brief paragraph about my brother, ending with "To be continued." It's been that long since I've talked to my family too, even though I'd promised to keep in touch more often. And I don't remember the last time I talked to any friends, even thought they've tried calling and have left voice mails. About the only communication I've done with anyone has been in writing on line.

Many things have happened to me over the past few years that have put me in this frame of mind. (See previous blogs, from May and July of last year, and January of this year.) I had been pretty out of it before, but then when my brother died in a senseless accident, it really impressed upon me how insane life is. I cling tenuously to my belief that somehow God will make sense of it, but I haven't been feeling sociable.

As it turns out, tendency towards depression runs in my family. In addition to that though, I long ago got into a habit of trying to escape from life by living in my head. Fantasies can be a pleasant diversion from time to time, but it seems as if I have a hard time grasping the reality of some things these days. Sometimes I try running the words "Bud is dead" through my head and it just doesn't compute. But other times I am overwhelmed with emotions - not only about him but about my mother, and about my life in general.

When life gets too painful (which is most of the time nowadays) I can't bear it and so I have to focus my mind on other things that don't hurt. Sometimes those other things involve music or TV or movies, other times it involves fantasies, other times it involves Bible reading and studying. But the way my mind works, things of God and the Bible seem like just another fantasy to me. It's hard to tell what's real any more.

In addition, fleeting thoughts of "I should do such and such" are often brushed aside, only to be remembered again after much time has passed. I used to do this when Mom was alive, but not as bad. I'd think I should call her, and then space on it. Then I'd think, I need to call her but I have to say something about why I haven't called. Then the longer I put it off, the worse it gets and the more of an explanation I feel I have to come up with. My sick mind at work. As I say, I did this before but I find I do it even more now, and much time passes in a fog.

I know this is something I need help with, and I am in the process of trying to find the right source of help. This is complicated by the fact that my wife and I are also in the process of changing doctors and health insurance. But I am hoping and praying that it all gets worked out soon. In the meantime, if anyone reads this and feels inspired to pray for me, please do. And for those who haven't heard from me in a while, please bear with me.

Bud

2009-08-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

My brother Bud has been active and healthy for many years, and was an inspiration to us in that area. Today he was riding his bike and a deer jumped in front of him, and he was killed. That is so mindbogglingly bizarre I can barely put it into words. My sister kept saying, “How can a loving God allow that?” And frankly I had no answer. I used to think I did, but none of the packaged answers I learned over the years come close to being helpful or comforting at a time like this.

I'm still processing. To be continued...

Craig Ferguson Has Figured It Out

2009-07-23T23:45:00.001-07:00

Craig Ferguson has figured out why everything sucks. It has to do with the shift from respect for elders to deification of youth. This clip is from his show on July 21. He's funny but he actually makes a lot of sense. OMG! Comedy that makes you think? On CBS??!!!

Change - But How?

2009-07-19T23:47:00.001-07:00

I recently received a link to a video in which a "Reverend" spouted off about how evil President Obama is, and saying that "white folks are going to rise up" the way black folks did in reaction to the Rodney King incident - and this was from a black minister. Moreover, this man practically foamed at the mouth with his hatred for Obama, repeatedly calling him a "long-legged Mac-daddy" (whatever that means) and worse. No matter what you may think of the president's politics and policies, we are told to honor and pray for our governmental leaders, not spout off such strife-gendering rhetoric.

That doesn't mean we just sit back and "do nothing" as pacifists and apoliticals are accused of. There is a very real and powerful stance we are supposed to take, and it's more powerful than any riot, rally or demonstration. The following article by Pastor Chuck Jones is from the June 2009 issue of Focus on the Kingdom. See if you don't agree with the Biblical view presented.

Change — but How?
By Pastor Chuck Jones
I believe that the only weapon we have is the Word of God. There is power there. The word is the Gospel. But it's not meant to beat people into submission. I advocate what Paul said in Romans 14:4-5: "Who are you who judge the servant of another? To his own lord he stands or falls. Yes, he will be made to stand, for God has power to make him stand. One man esteems one day above another. Another esteems every day alike. Let each man be fully assured in his own mind." We are all answerable in the end to Jesus as head of the Church. Yet unity is something to be sought and treasured.
So with that said, here's my point of view. Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world; if it were, my subjects would fight." Fighting as the world fights, boycotts, petitions, lobbying and so on, isn't in Jesus' arsenal of weapons. Nor Christians killing Christians in war. If we learn to fight with the world's tactics, then who are we learning from (or disciples of)? That's one of the dangers I see.
It's been said by some, "The early church, rather than being on the outside, did all they could to get into it, effect change and improve the system." This brings up some questions. One is this: when the Apostle James was killed by Herod, where do we read about "improving the system"? Were there protests or riots? God's justice was that "Herod was eaten by worms." Acts 12 gives a good example of prayer rather than protest. Protest would not have been tolerated at all, but prayer can't be stopped. Indeed the disciples were driven out of Jerusalem because of persecution. Peter wrote about how to handle this in his first epistle. He didn't talk about getting involved with the government. Can your child not pray silently in school?
I hold the view that the weapons we are to use are not according to the world's way. That is to say we don't need to pick up this world's weapons in order to bring about change. "For though we walk in the flesh, we don't wage war according to the flesh; for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the throwing down of strongholds, throwing down imaginations and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:3-5). I don't think that political action is preaching the Gospel. Did Jesus overthrow Rome or try to?
I will admit that I could be wrong, but I'm convinced of this: This nation isn't the Kingdom of God. Preaching the Gospel is our only tool to make any change, and it is one person (of 6 billion) at a time. This is the only way people are brought to repentance and born again to a living hope (Mark 1:14-15).
I am gaining an aversion to "pressuring people" to do anything I think they should. Part of it is in the first paragraph; another point is in 1 Corinthians 6:10. I'll only highlight one group, the extortioners. These are those who use undue force or legal power or ingenuity to force people to do what they don't want to. Those who practice extortion will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
There was an incident in Grand Rapids, Michigan a couple of decades ago concerning an adult XXX theater. Some believers decided to picket the place with the desire to shut it down. I learned something from the owner. In an interview he said he was glad for the publicity. If he had no customers he couldn't stay open.
The lesson is: it's the individual heart that needs to be changed. That change turns this man's customers into non-customers, and he's out of business. This is what Paul the Apostle ran into in Acts 16. I do not read about protests, letters, lobbying or any pressure put on the government to "change." But I do read about deliverance through Yahweh's intervention. I would also assert that in Acts 17 Paul again ran into trouble because he was preaching the Gospel against man's idea of what is right. It is silly to conclude that the Gospel won't have any effect but man's methods will!

Letterman Lunacy

2009-06-17T07:44:00.001-07:00

I am amazed at the power and influence this blog wields. No sooner had I written about Talk Show Memories in my previous blog entry than this controversy about David Letterman makes headlines. :)

The thing that sticks out in my mind is, why have so many people turned it into a political issue? I read through several blogs and comments about it, and was amazed at how many people - both liberal and conservative - have referred to one or the other as "typical" of their "side" of the political road. Dave Letterman has been called perverted, and a vile, narcissistic fool "like most leftists." Sarah Palin has been called opportunistic and hypocritical, "like most rightists." But wait, didn't she already lose the election?

For anybody that hasn't followed the brouhaha (Brouhaha? Ha ha ha!) let me recap. It all started with three admittedly (by Letterman) tasteless jokes. Here is TV Guide's summary:

On Monday's Palin-themed Top Ten list, Letterman joked that the governor went to Bloomingdales' to buy makeup to "update her 'slutty flight attendant' look." Then, on Tuesday, he joked about the Palins keeping their daughter away from Eliot Spitzer. And then there was this, about the family's visit to a Yankees game: "There was one awkward moment during the seventh-inning stretch when her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez," he said.

The biggest reason for the uproar was that it was actually Sarah Palin's 14-year-old daughter, Willow, who had attended the game, not 18-year-old Bristol. However, many people who heard the jokes understood them to be references to Bristol, who was in the news during the campaign precisely because she was an unwed pregnant teenager. But if you look at it, the jokes were more about Spitzer's and Rodriguez's reputations than they were about Bristol (or Willow) Palin.

Sarah and Todd Palin both issued statements:

From Todd Palin: "Any 'jokes' about raping my 14-year-old are despicable. Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too."

From Gov. Sarah Palin: "Concerning Letterman's comments about my young daughter (and I doubt he'd ever dare make such comments about anyone else's daughter): 'Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/NY entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands — that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.'"

Letterman read these statements on the air, and responded that the jokes were not intended to refer to 14-year-old daughter Willow, as the above statements seemed to indicate, but rather to 18-year-old Bristol, who, as Letterman pointed out, "was knocked up." Apparently his source had not made it clear which Palin daughter had attended the game with her mother. Still, Letterman admitted that the jokes themselves could not be defended.

"Were the jokes in question in questionable taste? Of course they were," Letterman said. "Would I do anything to advocate or contribute to underage sexual abuse or misconduct? Absolutely not, not in a thousand years."

Of course there are those who claim that the age difference doesn't matter, the jokes were still in poor taste. Letterman admitted they were. There are also those who have said, "He never would have made such remarks about the Obamas' daughters." That's quite true. Because the Obamas' daughters were not presented onstage with the announcement of their unwed pregnancy.

I'm not passing judgment on Bristol for that, but at the time the Palins defended her by saying that everybody makes mistakes. Has Sarah similarly allowed Dave to "make mistakes" in judgment about his material? Not at first. After his on-air clarification, Dave invited her to come on his show and talk it out. She issued the following statement through her spokeswoman, Meg Stapleton:

"The Palins have no intention of providing a ratings boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show. Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman."

Afterward, Sarah herself was interviewed by Matt Lauer on The Today Show, who gave her the chance to clarify the statement.

Lauer: I'd like you to explain what that meant. Are you suggesting that David Letterman can't be trusted around a 14-year old girl?

Palin: Hey, take it however you want to take it.

Of course, Letterman has since offered a complete and unmitigated apology, which Palin has accepted. But has she offered an apology for her not-so-veiled implication that he was a pedophile?

But the stupidest part of the matter is the sheep on both sides of the political fence who have turned the issue into a political arena. Rightists act like Letterman is a political figure who speaks for The Left and represents All That is Wrong With Our Country Today, while leftists use it as another excuse to portray anyone who says they have values as a hypocrite. Granted the timing of this mess does seem like a rather convenient opportunity for Sarah Palin to get back in the spotlight, especially since many more similar jokes (and worse) were made about Bristol during the campaign, without comment or response. Why make such a fuss now? Then again, it may turn out to be good for Letterman's ratings too, so it's kind of a win-win situation.

Nevertheless, there are leftists questioning whether Sarah Palin is qualified for public office, and rightists clamoring for David Letterman to be fired, if not burned in effigy. (This is another reason why I am staunchly apolitical.) If it were a matter of national policy or anything relating to political issues, I could perhaps understand the outrage. After all, politics and talk shows make strange bedfellows. But for goodness sake, it was a few lousy jokes out of thousands of lousy jokes (in his own estimation) that he has told over the years. Let it go, people. Have you nothing better to argue about? I'm sure you could come up with something if you tried!

Talk Show Memories

2009-06-10T09:25:00.000-07:00

With the recent passing of the Tonight Show torch from Jay Leno to Conan O'Brien, I have been thinking about talk shows in general, especially those I grew up with. For years Leno and Letterman have been running pretty much neck and neck, and I liked both. But there will never be another Johnny Carson. Nor will there be another Steve Allen.

Johnny Carson did it for thirty years and was the undisputed king of late night. Several contenders tried to compete but ended up falling by the wayside (I did enjoy Dick Cavett at times though). Not only was he the best at what he did, but the caliber of celebrities from those days is a thing of the past. I was recently watching old episodes and clips from those days on YouTube, and enjoyed nostalgic reminders of the old greats like Jack Benny, George Burns, Bob Hope, Dean Martin, George Gobel, Don Rickles, Rodney Dangerfield, and so many others. They just don't make them like that any more.

In addition to the guests, I liked his style of humor, as seen in sketches like the Tea Time Movie with Art Fern, and Carnac the Magnificent. He had a playful style and a mischievous streak that allowed him to get away with comments like when he told Dolly Parton, "I have certain guidelines, but I would give about a year's pay to peek under there." But he also was a great host, and knew how to put his guests at ease and allowed them to shine without needing to top them. Many current big names got their start on his show.

Before Carson inherited it, the Tonight Show was created by Steve Allen. Most of the usual trappings that are associated with talk shows were invented by him, such as the opening monologue, interviews at the desk, banter with the band leader, audience participation segments, and so forth. Even bits where they take the camera outside and interact with people on the street, that David Letterman does so well now, were first done by Steve Allen way back then.

I was only a year old when Steve Allen quit the Tonight Show so I never saw it, but I do remember him well from a daytime talk show he did in the late '60s. It was that show that first introduced me to him, and I credit it with having a permanent influence on my own style of humor. His quips and ad lib responses to ordinary questions still reside in my memory and I find his unique style of word play leaping out unexpectedly on numerous occasions. To this day I still use his classic responses: "Good to see you!" - "Thank you, it's good to be seen." Or, "Great having you here" - "Thanks, it's great being had here."

A psychologist on his show once said that the only two fears a child is naturally born with are fear of loud noises and fear of falling. Steve quipped, "I've always been afraid of making a loud noise while falling."

It wasn't until years later that I learned how much influence he had on the whole genre of TV talk shows. Nearly everything that they do today was done by him originally. He even had a character called The Question Man, who gave the answer to a question first and then the question, which Carson adapted in his Carnac routine. And he was innovative and original, never satisfied with doing the same thing over and over.

Many people have commented that David Letterman's show was the closest in style to Steve Allen's old show (at least back when he was on NBC), and Letterman himself has credited Allen with being a big influence. His older "stunt" oriented bits (like the Velcro suit and the Alka-Seltzer suit) and things like Stupid Pet Tricks and its spin-off, Stupid Human Tricks, hearkened back to the old Steve Allen shows. In addition, Johnny Carson made it known that Letterman would have been his choice to replace him, despite NBC's choice of Leno. He drove that point home by making a couple of brief appearances on Letterman after his retirement, but none on Leno.

Jay Leno is a good stand up comic, and I've enjoyed both him and Letterman off and on over the years. But both of them have seemed more "conventional" in recent years. Conan O'Brien took some getting used to at first, but he is more apt to break with convention, and I find him quite funny now. Nevertheless, I don't know how well he'll do against Letterman.

Craig Ferguson, who comes on after Letterman, is probably the most innovative of the current bunch. He's dispensed with many of the formulaic aspects - no "banter" with announcer or bandleader (in fact, no band), and his monologue is more improvised, going beyond the "what's in the news" formula that all the others use. And it's not limited to just the first segment of the show, either. He seems to enjoy tweaking the usual format, such as having a cold opening segment followed by a commercial break and then the opening titles. His humor is totally off the wall too, and I love his Scottish accent.

I almost feel sorry for Jimmy Fallon, who's opposite Craig Ferguson, in Conan's old slot. Although he's a likeable enough guy, he seems nervous and not well suited to monologues or interviewing. But he's had some good guests and may grow into it. Conan was very awkward at first, too.

But fortunately these days I can catch all the shows on line, so I don't really have to choose. And that's good because it's silly to say, "unless we're number one there's no point in doing it at all." Where does it say there can only be one late night talk show?

In the grand scheme of things it makes no difference at all, of course. They're just TV shows. But I do have many fond memories of Allen and Carson, and I hope their memories are preserved and their standards upheld in whatever shows continue to be broadcast.

Religion and Politics

2009-05-18T04:15:00.000-07:00

Religion and politics have long been seen as the subjects to avoid if you want a peaceful conversation. Both seem to ignite passion, and often anger, when one person questions or contradicts another's beliefs. There is a saying among many young Christians these days, abbreviated WWJD: What Would Jesus Do?

Would Jesus have argued politics? In the Bible, the only political statements he ever made involved his declaration that the Kingdom of God was near, and that he would rule the Kingdom, offering a part in that rule to his followers. He didn't get involved in debates over which politician had the better agenda, mainly because he knew that when he returned all agendas would be changed.

Granted, in those days there wasn't the freedom to question authorities as we have today. But he told his followers to render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's. He never encouraged them to get involved in politics or social programs to try to "make the world a better place." That's because the world will be made a better place when he returns to inaugurate the Kingdom of God. The Christian Church's job is to preach the Gospel of the Kingdom, not to change the world with religion.

For many years I, like many other Christians, tended to equate religion with right-wing political views. Before that I had tended to lean more to the left, as many young people do. Today I realize that politics is not the answer, and neither the right-wing nor the left have "the right idea." That's why I have said before that I am not so much "middle of the road" as "off-road." I am apolitical by choice, not by lack of choice.

One of the first steps in that direction was when I took a class in college on ethics back in the mid-90's. The biggest thing I learned from that class is that there are no simple answers to the big social questions we face. The textbook we used, and the class discussions, showed the valid points of both sides of hot-button issues like abortion, capital punishment, homosexuality, gun control, civil rights, social injustice, etc. I realized then that the reason arguments continue about these things is that there really is no one simple answer, and anyone on either side who thinks there is hasn't considered all the factors. The root cause of these problems is the fallen nature of man, which won't be solved until the Lord returns.

That is not to say that Christians should do nothing. We are expected to do our best to live up to God's moral standards. But expecting those who don't hold to those standards to live up to them just because we think it's right is unrealistic. And history has shown that trying to legislate morality doesn't work. Some people are just going to do what they want to do. There have been many attempts to make things better, but none of them is perfect. At best the world has argued over which is the lesser of two evils.

This is why I believe in the separation of Church and State. Many anti-religious people say it is to protect government from religion, but it works both ways. We don't need government influencing religion either. But the biggest thing that the Church needs to do is to stop politicizing moral issues. God sees all sin equally, and is prepared to forgive all sin by the blood of His Son. But those who don't accept that are still going to live in this world. The governments of this world have to make decisions that are fair to everyone for now. It's a completely different arena, an entirely different context, in which Christians and non-Christians have to live peaceably together, as much as possible ("If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." - Rom. 12:18)

If Christians are going to reach the hearts of the people they seek to convert, they have to be willing to see life from those people's viewpoint. Compassion was one of the big keys that Jesus spoke about. It doesn't do any good to say, "You're a sinner and you'll go to hell if you don't stop." (For one thing, the term "hell" is almost always misinterpreted; see my website for more about that.) Compassion demands that we understand why people do what they do and share with them the solutions God offers. There's a reason why the stereotype Christian in the world's media is portrayed as being self-righteous and judgmental. Far too many are that way (though certainly not all of them). But sadly the ones that are give the rest of Christianity a bad name.

In addition, I see many instances of politically biased arguments using twisted facts to prove their "side" while at the same time accusing the other side of doing the same thing. It happens on both sides - conservatives and liberals are equally guilty of it. I would expect it of the world, but when Christians get into such arguments, misrepresenting what the others say, and demonizing opposing viewpoints without really understanding them, it causes unnecessary division. The "us-versus-them" mentality that has divided this country does no one any good. God has the only perfect solutions, and He will bring them to pass eventually. And while I believe there is a source of truth and right when it comes to what God has made known through His Son, I don't believe that there is a definitive solution IN THIS LIFE for many of the political issues that divide people. So, yeah, I'll discuss religion with people, but I try to avoid politics.

(An old favorite from Dr. Demento!)

You Don't Know

2009-04-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

"You Don't Know"
by Cyndi Lauper

You don't know where you belong ...
You just need to belong somehow.

Relying on rhetoric ...
Not well versed on topics ...
Any idea what you're talking about ?
Revisions of history
Fair well in some company
But don't shove that bullshit down my throat

You don't know where you belong ...
You should be more careful
As you follow blindly along ...
You just need to belong somehow.

Left suppresses right
Right suppresses left
So what's the left, and what's right ?
You're told what to wear,
You're told what to like
It'd be nice if you'd think for yourself sometime,
But you don't.

Now you don't know where you belong ...
You should be more careful
As you follow blindly along ...
You just need to belong somehow.
You just need to belong somehow.

So life turns up empty
And you're so dissatisfied
Who are you blaming this time ?
Don't you know ?

Now you don't know where you belong ...
You should be more careful
As you follow blindly along ...
To find something to swear to ...
Till you don't know what's right from wrong
You just need to belong somehow.
You just need to belong somehow.

See Video Here

A Few Laffs

2009-03-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated this in a while. Not much new going on. I'm still working on my technical writing class, and also revising some writings for my web site.

So here are a couple of samples of my weird sense of humor, that I did with image editing software.

And here are a few comic strips that I got a chuckle out of. Click on each one to see it full size.

SHOE

ZIPPY THE PINHEAD

ZIPPY THE PINHEAD

BREWSTER ROCKIT

CALVIN AND HOBBES

PEANUTS

OVER THE HEDGE

BREWSTER ROCKIT

THE ACADEMIA WALTZ

New Horizons

2009-01-05T17:06:00.001-08:00

Back in the '90s I got a degree in computers from New England Institute of Technology. I've had a few computer jobs since then, but have never been able to break into programming, which is what I thought I wanted to do. Everywhere I went I was told that programmers are hired from within a company and they start out doing something else. I did get a temp job at one point where they allowed me to learn MS Access on my own, and then design a database for their parts.

After several years of various jobs (some not even computer related) I finally got hired at Carrols Corporation in Syracuse, where I stayed for six years. The job was as a Help Desk Analyst, but there was a possibility that I could move into programming at some point. I developed a few small applications in MS Access, and when they started having their own parts depot I worked on a database to keep track of inventory and shipment of parts. I worked on it, as a side project, for several months, and pretty much stretched the limits of Access. It really needed a standalone application. The company must have realized that too, and also that I was limited in my ability, so they gave the project to their IT department. Later I helped develop a few other small applications in Access, but never got the opportunity to do any "real" programming,even though I took a couple of classes in Visual Basic.

In the last couple of years at Carrols, I wasn't even sure if programming was what I wanted to do. As I have written previously, I thought I wanted to be a pastor and went to Atlanta Bible College in '07. I couldn't find work there and eventually ran out of money and ended up here in Seattle (previous blog entries explain all that). Since I've been in Seattle I have found that even Help Desk positions were looking for experience and skills in things that I didn't know or only dabbled in at Carrols. And I wasn't all that crazy about Help Desk anyway - I hate phones - although I enjoyed my time at Carrols for the most part.

I was looking at an article on Yahoo about the hot fields that are still growing in spite of the poor economy. One of them was Technical Writing. I'd heard about that because my sister does it. I have done a lot of writing on my own (mostly theological) and enjoyed it. And at Carrols I also wrote procedures as well as user guides for the Access applications I'd developed. So I had kind of done it a bit already. I began researching to find out how to get into the field and found a site with online training courses. It's called Online-Learning.com and is accredited by Ohio University. They have a course specifically in Technical Writing, which I started today.

I have always loved words and enjoyed manipulating them to say things in just the right way. And I have often been frustrated by technical manuals that weren't clear, so I recognize how important good tech writing is. I am looking forward to this course, and getting into a field that I really think I will enjoy. And having a job I enjoy is important to me. I've done my share of crappy jobs in the gotta-make-a-living-somehow field, and it will be great to actually enjoy something again. From what I've read the pay's not bad either, but honestly that has always been of secondary importance to doing something I like doing. There's nothing worse than having to drag yourself every day to a job you hate. Things are starting to look up.

Christmas Balance

2008-12-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

I've been back and forth over the years on the issue of Christmas. I think I'm finally finding the balance.

As a child, it was a wonderful, magical time. Memories of Christmas trees and presents and holiday music and food make me wax nostalgic. I'll never forget Dad pulling us on sleds to church one year. I also have fond memories of picking out the tree each year, and of Mom working endlessly to decorate the house and prepare for the various festivities. And we would stretch the holiday out over a week or more by visiting different relatives and exchanging gifts each time.

As I got older the "magic" kind of wore off, but not long after, I began learning more about Jesus and what it really meant to be a Christian. The celebration of his birth gave the season a whole new meaning that was awe inspiring. We had a big lit-up nativity set on our lawn in those days (including a make-shift stable that I helped Dad build). I believed and proclaimed that Jesus was the Reason for the Season. But that was not to last.

When I got involved with The Way, I learned that Jesus wasn't really born on December 25th. I was also taught that most of the traditions and customs of the holiday season were "pagan" in origin. Putting Christ back in Christmas was not possible, we said, because he was never there to begin with. Nevertheless, in The Way we allowed for celebrating the holidays as a time for family and togetherness.

Years passed, I moved to different areas and my siblings moved in different directions with their own families. And the "household" that had been The Way disintegrated. For a few years there was a small group of us in Rhode Island that were family-like, and it was our custom that anyone who had nothing else to do gathered at one house or another. It was fun, but I still saw Christmas largely as a worldly, secular custom that I just put up with every year.

After moving again and eventually getting kicked out of the group I was with in Syracuse, NY, I pretty much ignored Christmas. There seemed little reason for celebration, and there was now nothing to counterbalance the crass commercialism and drunken revelry that typified most of the world's holiday festivities.

While most scholars know that December 25th is almost certainly not the birth of Christ (for one thing the shepherds would not have had their flocks in the field at night in December), the consensus seems to be that we don't really know when he was born. (Dr. Ernest L. Martin made a good case for it having been on September 11, 3BC. They had adopted this idea in The Way, but I have since found the book where they got it from, The Star That Astonished the World. If you're interested, check out Dr. Martin's web site.)

But I learned something this year. It had been said that since we don't know when Jesus was born, December 25th is as good a time as any to celebrate it. But I still couldn't see going along with what I thought was the "white-washing" of pagan rituals. However I recently found out that many of the claims about the pagan origins of Christmas are not historically accurate.

While there are similarities between our Christmas customs and those the Romans had in celebrating Saturnalia, there is no evidence that one developed from the other. To be sure, many pagan customs have been mixed with the celebration of the birth of Christ. But there is evidence to show that Christmas was established on December 25th, not to "compromise" by adapting the pagan holiday to Christianity, but to present an alternative to the pagan holiday, so that Christians would have something to celebrate that wasn't idolatrous.

There are a couple of good online articles about this, by Dr. Richard P. Bucher. If you're interested, check out Christmas is Not Pagan, and The Origin and Meaning of the Christmas Tree.

Besides, even if Christmas customs did have pagan origins, they no longer hold that meaning today, for the most part. There isn't any Biblical reference to celebrating the birth of Christ, but there isn't anything forbidding it either. The Bible says that nothing is unclean of itself. It's what we do with it that makes it good or evil. If someone feels that it's pagan to decorate a tree, then they shouldn't do it. But if someone wants to celebrate Christ's birth with a pure heart, as many Christians have done for a few hundred years, there is certainly nothing wrong with it.

After several years of rethinking my beliefs, I have a renewed understanding and appreciation of Jesus Christ, whom I believe to be the promised Messiah, the coming King foretold by the Prophets. And after reading about the historic Christian symbolism of the Christmas tree in the above referenced articles, I can again enjoy Christmas, with the knowledge that those who say "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" may not have been duped after all.

(P.S. - I wrote a little Grinch parody called, "How The Way Stole Christmas." It's posted on the Grease-Spot Cafe, a forum for ex-members of The Way.)

Louie

2008-11-18T14:03:00.000-08:00

Louie lived a long and full life for a cat, and he will be greatly missed. We got him when he was a kitten, barely old enough to leave his mother. In fact the vet who gave him his first shots said he was probably younger than what they thought at the animal shelter where we got him. Because he was so young he thought Melodie was his mother and sometimes tried to suckle! He was Mama's Boy ever since. He even came when she called him, which is very unusual for a cat.

We named him Louie because his black and white markings reminded me of a Holstein cow, and the dairy connection made me think of Louis Pasteur. Only afterward did we notice the L-shaped marking on his nose, so he was a monogrammed kitty.

We first got him as a companion for our other cat, Emily. She was about three years older, and was sometimes annoyed by her new "little brother" who would pounce on her when she was just chilling out. They would then proceed to chase each other all over our apartment. It was like having kids, especially since we didn't have any of the human variety.

Emily died of kidney problems when she was about eight years old, and Louie has been our "only child" ever since. When we moved from Rhode Island to upstate New York, he rode in the truck with us, and hardly ever complained. While we were living with another couple in New York he got out somehow, and was missing for two or three days. We thought we'd lost him, but one night we heard a pitiful little meow from the back porch and there he was. A tearful reunion followed.

He was very affectionate and loved to snuggle on Melodie's or my shoulder. The combination of fur and purr was so soothing it was better than tranquilizers. And he had a regular ritual with Melodie, where he would sit on the bathroom counter and wait for her to get out of the shower. She would then lean down to him and he would tilt his head so she could give a him a little kiss on the head.

He was a brave hunter too. When the apartment next to ours was being renovated, a few mice showed up in ours. Louie would stalk them, and when he caught one he would toy with it just like in a cartoon. And more than once he presented us with the trophy from his hunt.

When we moved to Georgia, he again rode in the truck with us, but got overheated when we were in South Carolina (it was August). There was a tourist information center that let us bring him into the air conditioned building and gave him some water and let him cool off. He made friends wherever he went because he was so damn cute.

The long trip from Georgia to here was even more surprising. He just settled in the truck and rarely complained, and it was a week-long trip. He was content just knowing we were with him. And he was nice to have on those cold nights sleeping in the back of the truck. He put up with so much through the years.

Except for the one time he got out in New York, he was always an indoor cat, and was only sick once, when a cyst on his back ruptured and got infected. But other than that he lived a happy, healthy life for sixteen years. Recently he started losing weight and not eating, and when we took him to the vet, they discovered a mass in his belly, which they said was most likely cancer.

They could have done tests to confirm it and even surgery to remove it, but it would have only been buying him a short amount of time anyway. They tried giving him steroids to stimulate his appetite and make him feel better, but that only worked briefly. He continued to get worse, and rather than have him suffer we had him put to sleep.

By that time he was so thin and bony and weak that he wasn't the Louie we remembered. We will miss him terribly, but it's better to have the memories we have of him, than to watch him continue to deteriorate. But it's never an easy decision.

It will be a while before I can open a can without looking for him at my feet or expecting to hear him demand, "Give me some of that!" But he also demanded attention too, not just food. If I was reading or doing something on my laptop, he'd climb right in front of it and say, "Pet me NOW!" I never thought I'd miss that.

His whole life, his whole world, was in the midst of our home. It's not surprising that he would want to be the center of our world. There is nothing quite like being the object of his investigation, with the tickle of whiskers and an inquisitive nose. So long, Fuzz-Face! I'll miss you.

Change Has Come?

2008-11-05T22:10:00.000-08:00

We have a new president. Or at least, president-elect. Victorious cries of "Yes we can!" and "Change has come to America" ring in the air. I for one am glad that the race is finally over. It's been going on for nearly TWO YEARS! Do we really need to spend half of a term to elect someone to public office? It didn't used to stretch out that long. Maybe a little over a year, but this has been ridiculously long. And the ever-present ads with everybody calling each other a liar got old long ago.

In any case, I think it's fantastic that a black man was elected president, considering the history of race relations in this country. I only hope the majority of people who voted for him did not do so just because he's black. Whether he will be a good president should have nothing to do with his race or color.

Will he be a good president? Only time will tell. He seems to be what so many people have been saying they wanted. So let them have their way this time. The Republicans had their way for 8 years, the Democrats for 8 years before that, and the Republicans had 12 years before that. The pendulum has swung back and forth for years and years, and guess what? It hasn't made that much of a difference!

No matter who got elected, the monetary system needs to be reformed or there will be no real lasting change in the economy. And neither candidate has any plans to reform the monetary system. So the economy will continue, getting temporary fixes at best. And the country as a whole will not change until the hearts of the people change, and that will not be affected by any politician.

The main thing is that as a Christian I am told to pray for government leaders.

I Timothy 2:
1 First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men,
2 for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.
3 This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior,
4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

So regardless of what I may think of his politics, the system works, the people have spoken, and he is our president. But he is not the savior. One day Jesus Christ will return and rule the world in perfect righteousness. THEN change will come! Meanwhile God is still ultimately in charge, and He will see us through the good or the bad, whatever comes. Yes He can!

What Is Music?

2008-10-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

I've always loved music. And I've always enjoyed stuff that was "off the beaten path." Not content to listen to the usual top 40 songs as a kid, I wandered up and down the dial and discovered foreign but intriguing sounds I'd never heard before. In this way I discovered classical, jazz, and big band music, as well as progressive rock in my teens. See my profile for an idea of the wide range of tastes I have in music.

But for many years I was still "programmed" in a way. Or should I say in THE Way. My time in that organization served to condition my ideas of what was "Godly" music and what was not. But in recent years I have found myself re-evaluating those ideas, in addition to re-evaluating my doctrinal beliefs. Many Christians (not just in The Way) are taught that your basic, straight-forward, Western music is the most Godly, while other forms are pagan or devilish. But strangely they never referred to any Scriptures that demonstrated this. As a matter of fact there is a verse that says that "nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean" (Rom. 14:14). The context is talking about food, but I believe it can be applied to many other things as well. In terms of music, there is none that is evil in itself - it depends on what you do with it in your head. If it influences you in a negative way, then it's not good for you, though it may not be bad for someone else.

I started realizing this when I began to learn a little about music theory and how Western music developed the system of 8 notes in a scale. But in other cultures the system was different, which accounts for why music from, say, India or China, sounds so "different." I used to be afraid of listening to such music, because I was taught that it was "devilish" - whatever that meant. Granted, some Indian music was used in the worship of other gods, but that doesn't mean I have to. Is God so limited that He can only be worshiped with Western Church music? In fact, there is much evidence that the music of the Psalms, and music of the middle east in general, in Biblical times probably sounded more like the Indian or Arab music we hear today than Western music.

Then I started to see the validity of 20th century composers who experimented with 12 tone technique, atonality, randomness, and other things that to some ears just sounds like "noise." As I recall, many adults in the '60s said the Beatles sounded like noise, yet they have since been recognized as musically talented and innovative. Modern composers like Edgard Varese, Arnold Schoenberg, and John Cage weren't just making noises to annoy people. They were experimenting with "breaking the rules" and so challenging people to think about what, in fact, is music. There is still some controversy about whether some of their compositions are music, but that's the whole point - thinking about it and reconsidering, and not limiting oneself to what's familiar.

Another composer that is often underestimated is Frank Zappa. For years I had only ever heard the few "novelty songs" he had done, like "Don't Eat Yellow Snow", "Dancing Fool", and the big radio hit "Valley Girl". But I recently discovered that he was highly influenced by Varese and others, and in fact was quite an accomplished musician. He wasn't a drug-addled hippy, as he is often thought of. In fact he didn't use drugs and thought the use of drugs was stupid. Also, he didn't just play rock music, although he was a hell of a guitarist. He included classical and jazz elements, as well as experimental things like musique concrete (a movement started in the late 1940s and 1950s in which pieces were produced by editing together natural and industrial sounds - think of the Beatles' "Revolution 9"). Many of his instrumental pieces had weird titles, and his songs frequently had sexually explicit lyrics, but musically he was innovative. A lot of his stuff can be seen on YouTube. Check out "Peaches En Regalia", "Watermelon in Easter Hay", "G-spot Tornado", "St. Etienne", and "Yellow Shark Overture" to name just a few.

A lot of this modern stuff may not be everybody's cup of tea, but I've always enjoyed "weird" stuff. That's not to say I don't enjoy more traditional music as well, but a lot of times I like going outside the "comfort zone" and being challenged. I think the avant garde recordings of John Lennon and Yoko Ono were good for that, and some of it is still hard to listen to, but I enjoy trips like that from time to time, if for no other reason than to rethink what music is.

Follow the Money

2008-10-07T12:06:00.000-07:00

With everybody talking about how to fix the economy, why isn't anybody addressing the real problem? Changes in government spending will not help the economy very much, and could even make it worse. The root of the problem is that our entire monetary system is based on debt instead of anything with value. Fractional Reserve Banking enables banks to lend money it doesn't have and charge interest on it. When you or I or the government owes money on those loans, we are under the control of those banks.

A big part of the reason that political races are irrelevant is that no matter who is in office, much of this control of the government remains unchanged. There is a tendency to give whatever administration is in power the credit when the economy is good and the blame when it's bad. But does the government have that much control over the economy? Not when it doesn't even create its own money.

How many people know that the Federal Reserve System is not a government agency but a privately owned entity? How many know the same is true of the Bank of England? How many know that top government leaders as well as leading economic experts have long known of and spoken about the dangers of having one privately owned central bank, not to mention the dishonesty of Fractional Reserve Banking?

Below is a link to a video that is very eye-opening. It's called The Money Masters and it deals with the power that international banks have over nearly every aspect of the economy and the government, and how they got that power.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-515319560256183936

If the link doesn't work, copy and paste it into your browser's address bar. The video is three and a half hours but well worth your time.

Also, here's a link to a shorter, simpler presentation of the same basic ideas. It's called Money As Debt and it's only 47 minutes.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9050474362583451279

The old saying holds true especially in this case: If you want to know who's really in charge, just follow the money.

A Brief Word on Politics

2008-09-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

The race for president is almost over, after how many years? I was sick of it shortly after it started.

I have been on both ends of the political spectrum at various times in my life. As a teenager I was a liberal. In my days in The Way I was convinced that right-wing politics was equivalent to religion. Now I am even more convinced that politics is not the answer, no matter what the flavor of the month is. I am not so much "middle of the road" as "OFF road."

As Sharona said in Monk, "I never vote. It just encourages them."

Hey, here's an alternative:

What Now?

2008-07-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

Seeing it's been almost two months since I last posted anything, I figured I'd better update this thing. There's been a lot happening in one way, and in another way, nothing.

I'm going through a period of re-evaluating and re-organizing my life. So much happened all at once in the early months of this year that I'm sort of still in shock. My goals were changed when I couldn't find work in Georgia and had to leave Atlanta Bible College. My sense of self-worth suffered major blows when I couldn't relate to people there, and was reminded that I've never been real good at relating to people. Then on top of that my mother died, and my wife has been having her own issues, so I can't rely on her like I used to.

I've been fighting off depression, anxiety, apathy, fear, bitterness, and several other emotions I can't even identify. I need lots of prayer and understanding.

My immediate goals are up in the air as well. The inheritance I received takes some of the financial pressure off, but it won't last forever (we invested some of it, though). But more importantly, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I got a degree in computer programming back in the 90's but have yet to use it, as everybody says they hire from within their own company. Programmers start off as something else, from what I've been told. That's what I intended when I got the job at Carrol's back in Syracuse. But I was there for six years and went nowhere. So now the only "experience" I have is helpdesk, but most of the places I've interviewed for here want experience in other things that I only dabbled in at Carrol's. Besides, I don't want to do helpdesk for the rest of my life.

I went to ABC because I had thought God wanted me to be a pastor, but now I'm not so sure, and I don't even think I really want to go that way anymore. But I don't know what I do want to do. And besides, I don't even know who I am. I feel in many ways the same way I felt in my teens and early twenties, and that's pretty sad at my age.

I hope things will turn around, but I am in a state of transition right now. Anybody who reads this and is so inclined can certainly pray for me. It would be appreciated.

My Website is Back Up!

2008-05-28T00:06:00.000-07:00

After being down since my hosting agreement expired in January, the site has been relaunched as Godskingdomfirst.ORG (instead of .NET). The .net domain name was only renewable if I continued to be hosted by the same provider, but I found one that hosts for free. I only needed to register a new domain name, hence the change.

I made some changes to the layout and some of the content as well. The biggest change in content is a reworking and reorganizing of the "Future Events" page. The biggest layout change is the new Home or Index page, which has a site overview that includes graphics, making for a more attractive welcome. The rest of the stuff that used to be on the Home page is now on a separate page, called Introduction.

The link to my site in the right hand corner of this blog page has been updated to reflect the new site name. Click there to visit it.

Blessings and Hope

2008-05-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

When we reached Seattle, we had virtually nothing left. Patrick and Michele were gracious enough to share their food with us, as well as giving us rides to some places. Michele is a wonderful cook, so we ate well while we were there. And while they thought the kids were annoying us, we actually had fun with them. Jacob is two, and at that stage where he gets into EVERYTHING. (They call him "Destructo-Boy!") But he would look up at me and say my name (repeatedly) and babble something else incoherent, and want to climb in my lap. Yeah, he'd have his screaming sessions, but it all balances out. (Easy for me to say since he's not mine, right? I pray for Michele and Patrick.) And Rachel is five (almost six) and has quite the wit for her age. At one point I had said something strange, and she replied, "I wish I had a pie to put in your face!" I thought I would fall over laughing. She gives great backrubs too!

Anyway, when we returned the truck, the rental people mentioned that it had been due back at 1 pm , so we were supposed to be charged another day, as well as being charged for the mileage we went over. For some reason they didn't charge us for it, nor did they charge us for cleaning it, because the rental place in Georgia hadn't checked the box that said we would be charged for cleaning. So we didn't have to pay anything extra.

We still needed to find work and a place to live. Most places here will not rent to you if you haven't been working for a while. And we didn't have any money for a down payment. I wrote to a pastor friend of ours, Chuck Jones in Pomona, CA, with whom I had corresponded for some time and finally met face to face at the Ministers Conference at the college. He was able to help out by sending us some money to help us get on our feet again. The family of God is so wonderful!

As we looked for housing we discovered how much things cost here. We would not be able to put down a month's rent plus security on much more than a studio, if that. It was starting to look like we would have to stay in a rooming house or something till we got settled. I was starting to get anxious, I have to admit. And so were our hosts, as their apartment complex only allowed people to stay with them two weeks. One afternoon we prayed, and within an hour Melodie had a job and our tax refund check arrived. And because of the amount that I had paid for tuition at ABC, we hadn't owed any tax this year. (It was called the Hope Credit.) Therefore we got everything back that had been deducted from my job in New York, which was over $2000! I had known how much it would be but didn't think I'd get it so soon, especially since it had to go to the college and then get forwarded to me here. Melodie didn't even know how much it would be, so she was even more surprised.

Shortly afterward, we found an apartment that we could afford, and when we filled out the paperwork (there was tons of it, more than Melodie had to do in the army or when she worked for the government!) it turned out we needed less than we thought for a security deposit, plus they were taking $25 off the first month's rent, which isn't due till June 1st because it's so late in the month.

The place is on the south side of Seattle, and you go through a lot of industrial areas to get to it. But the complex itself is surrounded by woods and there are lots of trees along the streets too. It's only one bedroom, but we can upgrade if a two bedroom is available when we have the money. The kitchen is tiny, but the other rooms are good size. It's not bad for now.

Melodie is working for a temp agency scanning documents at a bank. It's not what she wants to do for the rest of her life, but it's paying more than she has ever made at a job before. Meanwhile I have had several interviews. I haven't gotten hired yet, but I didn't even get as far as interviewing in Georgia. The bus system here is great. You can get anywhere on the busses, although it takes a while. So I'm not limited as far as location for a job. And I don't have to pay these outrageous gas prices!

Then I got some interesting news. I wrote in my previous blog that my mother had died the day before we were to leave. It turns out now that I have a sizeable inheritance coming, which surprised me, as I didn't think she had very much after all her medical expenses and other things. But a check is on its way even now. So that takes the pressure off financially, and maybe there is a job for me that I have to wait for.

I still wonder what God wants me to do, and what I want to do, and what I can do, and what I'm doing here. I try not to get anxious about it but sometimes it's hard. But God has blessed me so much already, I have to leave it in His hands. He holds the future.

P.S. - Melodie's pictures from our trip are up on her Photo Album site. Click on the link in the right hand column.

Big Country

2008-05-09T19:45:00.000-07:00

It seems like we were driving forever. We left on Friday evening, April 18, after loading the truck and cleaning out the apartment at ABC. We wanted to at least get as far as the state line before we stopped for the night, and we did. Just over the line in Tennesee, we passed Chattanooga and continued west, stopping for the night at Nickajack Lake.

We were given a larger truck than what we had reserved (and charged a lower rate because it was their error). We had the bed on edge and tied in place to hold everything, and when we stopped for the night we untied and laid the bed down and we could sleep in the back of the truck. That was the plan anyway. That first night the door wouldn't shut all the way because the bed was about an inch too far out. So I had to rearrange stuff and get the bed to fit, and it was raining, so the edge of the bed got wet. Still, we were able to sleep and the bed dried out the next day, so things worked out.

Louie seems to like road trips. He was quite comfortable on the seat between us, and whenever we stopped he took his command post on the dashboard.

The next day we continued through Tennessee and Kentucky, passing by Nashville (below).

That night we stopped in Illinois, and the following day we crossed the Mississippi and passed through St. Louis. Melodie got some good shots of the arch. Looks like half a McDonald's, doesn't it?

From there we crossed Missouri, turned north just before Kansas City, and headed north through Iowa. Council Bluffs had a whole riverboat theme on the river.

By Tuesday, we had gone through the rest of Iowa and into South Dakota, stopping at Mitchell for the night. Wednesday was when we had to figure out how to continue since we ran out of money (see previous blog). We were finally able to resume on Thursday.

The rest of South Dakota was a long haul, and then we stopped to see the world famous Wall Drug in Wall, SD.

Melodie has several pictures from there, which she will be putting up soon on her photo site. We then continued west, and hit a huge thunderstorm at Rapid City. It was so bad we had to pull off and wait till it stopped, as I couldn't see anything in front of me. But we finally made it out of South Dakota alive!

We stayed overnight in Gillette, Wyoming. In the morning we awoke to a view of The Devil's Tower. Well, the sign SAID Devil's Tower anyway. I later found out that the sign was referring to the road which led TO Devil's Tower (made famous in "Close Encounters"). But this was a pretty cool looking mountain anyway.

We drove through a corner of Wyoming and crossed into Montana. We discovered that it was still winter in this mountainous region. Although beautiful to look at, it was COLD in that truck at night. We survived thanks to lots of blankets and body heat (including Louie).

We crossed Montana, and then a narrow strip of Idaho. This was actually the most beautiful scenery yet, looking down from the mountains into a deep valley, but the pictures didn't come out for some reason.

We crossed into Washington, and kept driving and driving, trying to find a place to stop for the night. Mile after mile of nothing passed by us. We finally got off at an exit where there was a gas station, but it was closed. Fortunately there was a small place across the street where you could get gas with a credit card after hours. It was expensive though, so we got enough to get us to the next town, where we could fill up for less. We spent the night at Moses Lake.

The last day of travel took us over and through the coastal mountains just east of Seattle. These were even more breathtaking than what we'd seen in the Rockies, with their pointed, snow-capped peaks. But sadly the last batteries in Melodie's camera were dead, and she couldn't get any more pictures.

We finally arrived in the Seattle area, and were warmly greeted by Patrick, Michele, and the kids. After a long trip through eleven states we were happy to be anywhere! But it was nice to have a warm, loving place to sleep that night.

Next time I will write about how God has blessed us since we've been here.

A New Beginning

2008-05-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

I had a MySpace blog earlier in the year, but it was mostly complaining. And hardly anybody ever read it, which was part of what I got into complaining about. Besides, what friends I had on MySpace were all younger than I am (as is often the case there) so I didn't really fit in. After a while I deactivated my account, and recently decided to attempt a "real" blog.

I had been at Atlanta Bible College, and thought I wanted to be a pastor. Now I'm not sure what I want to do, or what God wants me to do. Neither my wife nor I could find work in Atlanta, and we ran out of money. The bad news was we had to leave. The good news was that they were willing to write off my debt and even give us money to help move.

We knew a couple in Seattle whom we had met in Syracuse, NY (where we lived before coming to Atlanta) and they offered us a place to stay until we got settled, if we wanted to relocate to the Seattle area. After much deliberation we decided to take them up on it.

While getting ready to move, I received word that my mother was in the hospital with pneumonia and was not expected to make it, due to weak heart, lung problems, and other ailments. The day before we were to leave Atlanta, she passed away.

This added to the overwhelming feelings of depression that I was already feeling, from not knowing what to do with my life, and having difficulties in relating to people. It reached the worst point when, midway through the trip, we ran out of money. The truck was getting way less mileage than we had anticipated, and in Mitchell, South Dakota, we were down to the last quarter tank with no way to get any more gas.

I tried calling my family, but they had just spent what extra money they'd had for Mom's funeral. I was in such despair I wanted to give up, but my wife managed to keep her head about her, and made some phone calls to people we knew back in Georgia. By the next day we had enough money to continue, thanks to the generous help of friends in Georgia.

They also prayed for us, and it made a difference. When I woke up that morning, I was not feeling the overwhelming depression and heaviness that had enveloped me the day before. We set out on our way, trusting (albeit timidly) in God's providence.

Next post, I will continue with our adventures moving to the Other Coast.